Over the last week or so, the world (or the small part of it that lives in these parts) has been inundated with rave reviews of and reflections on the new Bond film, Skyfall. But it’s rubbish: absolute rubbish.
If you’ve seen the trailer and already know the premise of Skyfall (stop reading here to avoid spoilers) – i.e., that our hero is apparently, but accidentally, assassinated by his own people in the first scene, then you’ll know this is a story about someone who comes back from the dead.
What more could a Zombie possibly ask for in a film? Instant empathy, you would imagine? Well, within 10 minutes, all my positive expectations of Skyfall – buoyed up by positive reviews – were dead, with no hope of being re-animated.
Hype works, and it made me stupid enough to see this film; as it did with millions of others. Not to put anyone down, but if I were dependent on surviving on the brains of the cinema-going masses – and most film critics – I’d starve.
The only light on the horizon has been comments from The Irish Times’ Film Critic Donald Clarke and stand-in for the Mark Kermode film review show on BBC 5live, Al Murray. They have both declared themselves perplexed at the praise that has been heaped upon this second-rate film.
I have a list of reasons why I disliked Skyfall – dull plotting, laboured back-story, cardboard acting, etc. (And why does the French girl have that cigarette as she speaks to Bond? There’s about an inch of ash refusing to fall from its tip for the entire scene. I kept thinking: “Oh my God, is it going to break off …is it going to break off?” At least it provided some tension in the film.)
However, the stupidest, most damning, part of Skyfall has to be the baddie’s mission to kill M, or Judy Dench as she is known on her days off.
I mean, he uses his computer genius to infiltrate the security system and turn on gas in the MI5 building so he can blow up her office – when he knows she’s not there! Then he decides to kill her by organising – in the most unbelievably complicated manner – a plan whereby he disguises himself as a policeman (I’m not kidding) and goes after her with…a handgun.
And they said the invisible car in Die Another Day was stupid.
Bring back Brosnan, I say.
Skyfall: the worst Bond film ever?
Over the last week or so, the world (or the small part of it that lives in these parts) has been inundated with rave reviews of and reflections on the new Bond film, Skyfall. But it’s rubbish: absolute rubbish.
If you’ve seen the trailer and already know the premise of Skyfall (stop reading here to avoid spoilers) – i.e., that our hero is apparently, but accidentally, assassinated by his own people in the first scene, then you’ll know this is a story about someone who comes back from the dead.
What more could a Zombie possibly ask for in a film? Instant empathy, you would imagine? Well, within 10 minutes, all my positive expectations of Skyfall – buoyed up by positive reviews – were dead, with no hope of being re-animated.
Hype works, and it made me stupid enough to see this film; as it did with millions of others. Not to put anyone down, but if I were dependent on surviving on the brains of the cinema-going masses – and most film critics – I’d starve.
The only light on the horizon has been comments from The Irish Times’ Film Critic Donald Clarke and stand-in for the Mark Kermode film review show on BBC 5live, Al Murray. They have both declared themselves perplexed at the praise that has been heaped upon this second-rate film.
I have a list of reasons why I disliked Skyfall – dull plotting, laboured back-story, cardboard acting, etc. (And why does the French girl have that cigarette as she speaks to Bond? There’s about an inch of ash refusing to fall from its tip for the entire scene. I kept thinking: “Oh my God, is it going to break off …is it going to break off?” At least it provided some tension in the film.)
However, the stupidest, most damning, part of Skyfall has to be the baddie’s mission to kill M, or Judy Dench as she is known on her days off.
I mean, he uses his computer genius to infiltrate the security system and turn on gas in the MI5 building so he can blow up her office – when he knows she’s not there! Then he decides to kill her by organising – in the most unbelievably complicated manner – a plan whereby he disguises himself as a policeman (I’m not kidding) and goes after her with…a handgun.
And they said the invisible car in Die Another Day was stupid.
Bring back Brosnan, I say.